Umbridge tricked
by Author Name Changed
Summary: Good old Umridge returns home and somebody wants to put her into singing business... Fred and George Weasley, that is! OotP spoilers, of course Finished


"Well, how is it?" asked Harry the Weasley twins.  
  
"Great!" George answered and winked. "She believes everything we say!!!"  
  
Fred and George had managed to organize the greatest prank ever on :::drums::: Dolores Umbridge. They had found her at her house in London and convinced her that their brother, Bill was a great music agent who kept admiring her voice. Finally, Umbridge fell for the trick and she was supposed to have an audition somewhere. God knows how, Dumbledore helped them with their prank.  
  
It was Halloween and every student in Hogwarts waited for the great entertainment that the Headmaster was supposed to give them. Fred and George were guests of honor and sat at the Gryffindor table. Suddenly, Dumbledore sat up and said:  
  
"After we had now eaten this wonderful feast, shall we all listen to the newest music star?"  
  
He took out his wand and made all the lights in the Hall go away and discretely cast a few silencing spells. Then he conjured a table with three seats and a microphone and lighted them with stage lights so that everybody could notice what was going there but nobody from inside could see the outside. Then he put a few glasses around the whole thing.  
  
After a few minutes of waiting when everybody wondered what was going to happen, suddenly a light appeared and four people could be seen in the little chamber Dumbledore had created. Harry recognized Bill Weasley and Mundungus Fletcher and he also saw a woman he didn't know.  
  
"That's Tonks" whispered Fred. "And they're supposed to be the committee that grades Umbridge. Don't worry about laughing; Dumbledore already took care of that."  
  
"I still can't see why I couldn't have sung there" Umbridge said in her high-pitched voice.  
  
"Here we have better acoustics" said Tonks. "Now, Mrs. Umbridge, please sing those songs Mr. Reknarp said you've practiced."  
  
"That's Bill" whispered George.  
  
Umbridge gave her little 'hem hem' and started, terribly off-key.  
  
"Operatooooor.. Giiiiiive meeee iiiinformation. Informatiooooooon giiiive me loooooooooooooooooooooong distance...Loooong Distannnnce give me heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-van. Two, three"  
  
The Great Hall started laughing, but Umbridge couldn't hear them and continued:  
  
"Oh operator, information, give me Jesus, on the liiiiiiine"  
  
The toad like woman crossed her arms on her chest and started shrieking:  
  
"OOOH YEAH Operator, Information, I'd like to speak to a friend of MIIIINE! Oh. oh."  
  
"Try to remember the words, Mrs. Umbridge" said Bill, trying to hold back his laughter.  
  
"PLEASE GIVE ME JESUS ON THE LINE!" she shrieked and the Great Hall covered its years. "OOOOOH, yeah, operator, pleeeeease! Pleeeeease if you can."  
  
"Take me to an urologist!" yelled Tonks, but Umbridge didn't notice. Instead, she put her hands on her hips and started dancing a kind of a cha- cha-cha. "JEEESUS was his name. Please give me Jesus on the line!!!"  
  
She seamed to reach her best volume. As a matter of fact, so did the Great Hall. Everybody laughed like crazy.  
  
"PLEASE. PLEASE. IF YOU CAN! PLEASE CONNECT ME TO A FRIEND! I don't mind the charge, just give me the fucking line, I'm calling from the HEAAAAART!!!!"  
  
"Very well! Very well!!!" yelled Tonks. "I see this isn't exactly your song. Fine, shall we try something else?!"  
  
"Fine with me" said Umbridge, looking a little disappointed.  
  
"Can you sing 'We are the Champions' by Queen?" asked Tonks  
  
"Of course!" she said and started, slowly. "I paid my dews time after time, I've done my sentience, but committing your criiiiiiime!!!"  
  
Mundungus looked terrified. Meanwhile, Umbridge moved forward.  
  
"I consider it a CHAMPED before all human RACE!!!" she shrieked putting her hand on her neck and as the Great Hall roared with laughter, she shrieked again "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, my frieeeends, and WEEE'LL keep on fighting 'till the END. WE are the champions, weee are the champions."  
  
Tonks nearly fell to the ground as Umbridge's voice started to sound as if somebody was strangulating her and Umbridge raised her hands slowly, as it was sometimes done in video clips and then chocked and lost everything, letting her hands fell down.  
  
"Oh, well, that was. interesting." said Tonks and tried to smile. "How about 'Surrender' by Laura Pausini?"  
  
Umbridge looked desperately around and started singing in her usual high- pitch voice.  
  
"I can't pretend any mooore that I'm not affected."  
  
"Neither can I" commented Bill, without Umbridge noticing.  
  
"I raise my hands and I SURRENDEEEEEER!" she yelled, skipping a few lines and raised her hands and started moving them around like a headless chicken. "Cause your love is too strong and I can't go on."  
  
"Don't!" commented Mundungus.  
  
"Around me, BAAAAAAAAAABY!"  
  
The Great Hall laughed as the windows Dumbledore had put broke apart and Umbridge stopped.  
  
"What is this all about."  
  
"Smile! You're on 'Candid Camera'" said Bill and Dumbledore put on the lights in the Great Hall and undid the silencing charms. "We'll send a few cassettes to all your friends and family, not to mention enemies of all kinds and put them on T.V., both Muggle and Magical."  
  
Umbridge screamed in terror and Harry thought that it was way better than the singing. Then she ran towards the entrance to the Great Hall, not noticing the extra-clean window put there by Dumbledore as it was the only one that hadn't cracked. As she hit herself against the window that broke into tiny pieces, the Great Hall started laughing even harder. But before they could even blink, she got up and ran through the students knocking them down.  
  
The next few weeks, the Hogwarts classes were heard to teach because of the students who kept laughing for apparently no reason and because of Peeves who insisted upon singing everywhere 'Give me Jesus on the line!!!!' or 'We are the champions.' or 'I raise my hands and I surrender'  
  
The Weasley twins were given the Order of Merlin, first class. 


End file.
